Your voice that used to make me smile
After we broke apart,
I keep hearing things
My body, my heart, diseased
When I eat I can’t hold my spoon properly
I go back to the alleyway we both used to take together
Put off the drama,
I watch movies as I drive
Freely I’m absent but present within music
I run until the third stage
Unceasingly haggard,
my appearance
I didn’t want you to see it
So outside,
I pretended not to care
Pretended it didn’t hurt,
pretended I was okay
As I kept hiding,
my heart disagreed more and more
I strike myself in order to swallow the pain
Heal my wounds,
I’m black and blue
Rip it to pieces,
today my wounds stay
A different scent feels nostalgic to me
Although I know that couples frequently break up
This is a completely different feeling
Painfully I want to show off that I’m free, relaxed
But still I miss you
I ask around your friends
How you’ve been all these years
When I hear that you’re living well,
I can't stay still,
My face hardens
The day we cut off our relationship
The day when we who were so close fell apart
I thought I was cool then
It was a useless mindset
I should have held on to you
I always ask myself
Would there be another chance?
On a rainy parting of ways
I haven't prepared an umbrella
The rain blame me as I blamed myself
I want to look dignified
But what am I supposed to do?
I don’t want to cry
But what am I supposed to do?
I don’t want to believe the obvious truth
But what do I do?
Let’s face each other again
Confess again
Let’s start over
Love each other again
Let’s erase everything
And part our ways once more
If a day like this comes
I won’t have any complaints
My focus only reaches the ceiling
As if I can’t leave even if there’s no sunlight
What am I supposed to do
Are you happy?
Come back, please
I believed I could survive alone
But even though I live a changed life in spite of my weakness,
But it doesn’t go the way my heart imagines
I look fine on the outside but inside,
I’m a mess...
27 Jan 2016
